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You might think that the literary bad sex awards would feature a whole host of Mills & Boon wannabes.Not so. This year's shortlist for the Literary Review's bad sex honour features a host of well regarded authors, including Booker winner John Banville and Whitbread winner Paul Theroux.
But also featured is Philip Roth, a Pullitzer prize winner whose story of the seduction of a lesbian by an ageing stage actor has put him firmly in the running.
The Humbling, by Roth, sees actor Simon converting lesbian Pegeen with the use of a green dildo.
The Literary Review picked the following scene, in which Simon convinces Pegeen to take part in a threesome, as their potential winner.
"This was not soft porn. This was no longer two unclothed women caressing and kissing on a bed. There was something primitive about it now, this woman-on-woman violence, as though in the room filled with shadows, Pegeen were a magical composite of shaman, acrobat, and animal. It was as if she were wearing a mask on her genitals, a weird totem mask, that made her into what she was not and was not supposed to be," writes Roth.
Jonathan Beckman of the Literary Review explained why the scene had been picked.
Speaking to The Guardian, he said: "Roth is very anxious about his description of sex.
"Why write of a scene that repeatedly features a green dildo, 'this was not soft porn', unless you're worried that it might be taken as such."
It's a fair point, well made.
23-year-old Richard Milward, who is nominated for his novel Ten Storey Love Song, was philosophical about his place on the shortlist.
He said: "I've been there before and I'll be there again.. There's so much bad sex in my book that this is a nice accolade.
"Some authors spend five pages describing a walk in the park but when it comes to sex they'll just do two sentences – 'she rolled off him'. Sex is exciting stuff – it can be very dirty and smelly, but you've just got to get stuck in, and I'm not afraid of doing that."
Think we'll stick to Mills & Boon.
