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Mar 21st 2010 By Dear Paula

I can't trust anyone

Dear Paula,
I'm 19 and I am really struggling to trust my boyfriend whom I have been with for three years. He is 30. I was brought up by my nan because my mum is an alcoholic and was in and out of prison, but at the age of 11 my nan died and I had to move in with my auntie to wait for my mum to come out of prison. Then my siblings and I went to live with her and she continued to drink, leaving me to look after my younger brothers. Social services then got involved and we were taken into care. I met my boyfriend when I was 16 and I was so delighted that someone cared about me. He comes from a good family background and tells me he will never hurt me but I just can't seem to believe it and I always think he is going to cheat on me. I just feel like I'm no good even though I have done really well and got into university.

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Mar 21st 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Dogs will do anything for a biscuit. Just watch these video clips...

1. Sophie the sneezing Shih Tzu
It's amazing what you can train a dog to do with enough time and an endless supply of biscuits - lie down, dance, roll over, sneeze. Yes, you read that right - Sophie the Shis Tzu will even sneeze on demand.



2. Will do tricks for (imaginary) biscuits

Most animals can't wait to wolf down a biscuit at the end of a trick, but this dog shows ultimate self control. We admit we laughed when he went for the invisible treat, though we felt a bit mean afterwards.



3. I love you-oo-oo-oo!
Something tells us Mishka the husky rules the roost in this household. We wonder if she ever gets fed up of being told how much everyone loves her?



4.Canine chatterboxes

Who says dogs can't talk? From 'Hello' to 'I love Mama' and 'Runaround' these hounds will say almost anything to get that treat.



5. Howling hound
Is this one of the most entertaining things around? We're not sure, but it's certainly one of the loudest.
This clip reminds of the last round of X Factor auditions, though we can't think why...



6. The tings I do to for a biscuit...

We have to feel sorry for this German Shepherd. All that effort for one lousy treat. Even a kiss for mommy turned into two kisses.




7. Ralph the stuffed toy

We couldn't resist including this one. Ralph may just be a stuffed toy, but he does some cool tricks - if you've got the patience to keep asking him that is.

Mar 21st 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Political claws out as election wives get catty

Nick Clegg and wife MiriamClearly the likes of Nick Clegg, David Cameron and Gordon Brown will be getting tough on their opponents in the run-up to this year's general election.

But it seems they're not the only ones.

Proving that behind every successful man is a driven woman the battle of the political wives is also underway.

And first to take to the battlefield is Mrs Miriam Clegg, wife of the Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg.

During an interview with ITV's Mary Nightingale, Miriam was asked whether she would "hit the campaign trail, like Samantha Cameron".

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Mar 21st 2010 By Dear Paula

Betrayed by my husband and my friend

Dear Paula,
I have recently found out that my husband has been having an affair for the last three years with a so-called 'friend' of mine. When I found out, I asked my husband to leave but he said he wanted to stay and would stop seeing her. The thing is, I can't forgive him for what he has done. I thought I could get over it but it's all I think about every waking moment. He has been very attentive and we have been going out more and doing a bit more together, something that hasn't happened for a while. Every time we have sex I have to stop myself crying because all I can see is the two of them together but I have been trying to hold it together for the sake of our three teenage children. Part of me thinks after 23 years together maybe he should be allowed a little indiscretion but then the other part of me is wondering how long before the next one or before it all kicks off again.

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Mar 21st 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Introducing the self-censoring DVD player

Man with remote controlMany of us will have studied the back of a DVD cover with puzzlement at the words of warning.

But if you've ever sat down to family movie night only to find actors stripping off, turning the air blue or splattering blood across the screen, you will know that judging movie ratings can be a tricky business.

Thankfully a product now exists that will do away with those red-faced moments and horrified gasps.

The ClearPlay system will carefully cut the gore, nudity or foul language for you without any need for the trusty fast forward button.

Using a computerised filter, the gadget can be set to seven levels of content skipping including violence, blood, nudity, sex, swearing, blasphemy and the vaguely titled offensive content.

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Mar 21st 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Be true to yourself for a lucky love life

happy young coupleIf you are struggling to find the love of your life it might pay to take a good, hard look at yourself, new research has revealed.

According to scientists at Ohio State University, those who remain true to themselves enjoy more success in the dating stakes, thanks to their consistency and honesty.

The study of 62 couples at the college revealed, through a set of thorough questionnaires, that those men and women who viewed themselves objectively were better equipped to become intimate (in the emotional sense, obviously) with their partner.

And that's not all.

It seems the consistency and self-confidence of one partner quickly rubbed off on the other, leading to "healthy relationship behaviours" and a happier partnership.

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Mar 20th 2010 By Cathy Winston

The A-Z of love: E is for exes

It's a sad fact of relationships - in the hunt for love, there'll always be casualties. We're talking exes, the ones who broke your heart, the ones you crushed, the ones who've been such a big part of your life that you can't imagine being without them.

So how do you keep a good relationship with your ex - and should you even try? 'There are no hard and fast rules' says life coach Eve Menezes Cunningham. 'Every relationship is different. In some situations, you'll be happy to build a friendship, while in others you'll want absolutely nothing to do with him - or maybe he'll feel that way about you.

'Before you think about what you should be doing and feeling, take a moment to think about what you really want. How do you feel as you imagine becoming friends with him? Happy? Anxious? Sad? Hopeful? How do you feel as you imagine never seeing him again? Relieved? Disappointed? Forget shoulds and do what's right for you.'

And the way you handle the situation may also depend on who ended the relationship - and how messy it was.

'Whoever ended the romantic relationship, you'll both have to want to make the effort to turn it into something new that works for both of you,' says Eve. 'It's a whole new relationship, not a continuation. This can been much harder when it's emotionally raw and may be easier if you've drifted into friendship or a brother/sister relationship already.

'If you want to be friends but he's too hurt to consider it, accept it. Let him know you hope he'll get in touch if he changes his mind sometime in the future but be prepared to accept that he may never get there.'

If you're the one who's been dumped, be wary of trying to create a friendship as a way of clinging on to the relationship - you'll only cause yourself more pain this way. And be very wary of drifting into a 'friends with benefits' situation, she says.

'These can be tricky at the best of times, especially if one person wants it to become a relationship while the other is just into the physical aspects. It could be a recipe for hurt and confusion.

'Sometimes, it's best to make a clean break and move on - for both your sakes.'

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Mar 20th 2010 By Dear Paula

A bully and control freak?


Dear Paula,
My boyfriend was just so nice when I met him - sensitive, thoughtful etc. But over a gradual few months or so he has become completely different. He hates my friends with a passion and the strange thing is all of my friends think he is so nice. I have a couple friends who are single and they go out with a lot of different men, but that's their choice. He thinks they are slags and that as I used to go out with them I must be the same. I am in my forties and he is in his fifties.
The other thing is, he's always going on about my past. I have had five relationships, all of which were fairly long, so as he says, "You must like sex". He was in a 35 year relationship and had dozens of affairs! What makes it even worse is I was badly abused both sexually and physically, as a child, by my father and he is forever going on about my past sexual encounters.

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