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Mar 17th 2010 By Georgia Barlow

The Man Whisperer: "To kiss or not to kiss"

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Whether you're juggling multiple meaningless flings, dabbling in a spot of online dating, embarking on a new romance or bickering your way through the seven-year itch, The Man Whisperer is here to offer you her honest, no-nonsense, down-to-earth advice on your everyday dating dilemmas and relationship roadblocks.

Dear Man Whisperer
I know this sounds stupid but what are you supposed to do when you greet someone on a date? Do you shake their hand, give them a peck on the cheek, a peck on both cheeks or not touch them at all? I always feel really awkward and end up getting flustered and going bright red. Not the best way to start a date. Please help! Tania, 26, Hertford


A: On the contrary, it's a damn good question and, left unanswered, one that can lead to all manner of awkward situations in those crucial first few moments of a date. For our more tactile European cousins in France and Spain, things are much simpler as they use the same greeting - a kiss on each cheek – whatever the occasion. It doesn't matter whether they're introducing themselves to the CEO in a business meeting, greeting old friends or meeting someone on a first date.

Sadly, in the more reserved UK there is no set rule so even the most seasoned dater can only account for her own part in the proceedings. There's no knowing which move he is going to make. While you lean in for a kiss, he could well hold out his hand for a handshake. It's a bit like playing 'paper, scissors, rock'. You just don't know until it's too late.

To minimise the chances of nose bashing, head banging - or worse, that accidental kiss on the lips – I suggest you decide your plan of attack before you walk into the room. A handshake will make him feel as though he has turned up for a job interview, so my advice is to go for the British single kiss on one cheek. Then you can leave it up to him whether he wants to go in for the double.

Remember the usual trick is to touch cheeks lightly while kissing the air as opposed to planting a smacker. After all, you can't both plant a kiss on the cheek at the same time so that could again lead to an accidental snog if you're not careful. If you see a big lipstick print on his face you know you've probably gone wrong somewhere. But if you do get yourself in a bit of a confused tangle, at least it gives you something to laugh about to break the ice.

If you fancy him, this is a good time to assert a bit of flirtatious body language. By that I mean touching his forearm as you lean in, not slipping the tongue in.

But anyway, never mind the greeting kiss - that's the easy bit. It's the goodbye kiss you want to be worrying about. And unfortunately, there are no traditions and customs to guide you on that one.


Email The Man Whisperer about your dating dilemmas and relationship roadblocks at me@manwhisperersos@aol.com.


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Mar 17th 2010 By Cathy Winston

The A-Z of love: C is for communication

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Twitter, Facebook, BlackBerries, iPhones, Skype - it should be easier than ever for us to communicate these days. But if technology makes it simpler to send a message, you need more than a 140 character comment to improve communication in your relationship.

Whether you're constantly rowing or have slipped into the habit of not opening up to each other, communication isn't something you should take for granted.

'Communication is as much about listening as it is about talking,' says life coach Eve Menezes Cunningham. 'Apart from the words we use, we communicate a lot with the way we're sitting or standing. And think about how you would like to be spoken to - are you sounding sarcastic? Yelling, even? This is unlikely to get the response you're after.'

As your relationship changes, so your communication skills need to adapt.

'When you first start getting to know someone, everything is new. You could easily spend hours analysing (or obsessing) over what exactly that look, conversation, email or even text meant,' Eve says.

'Here's a radical idea: If you're not clear about something and it's bothering you, ask what he meant by it. Yes, it's risky, even terrifying, but he'll be in a far better position to tell you than any of your friends, who weren't there and aren't him.

'Be specific. Say something along the lines of, "When you said x, I felt y and wondered what you'd meant..." Being direct takes confidence but will get you far further than following someone else's rules.

'Once you've been together for a while, it's easy to get into a rut. Aim for at least one conversation a day, even just for a few minutes - and if you have kids, make it about something other than the children.

'Tell him you want to get better at communicating, so when tensions do rise, you both know that you'll be trying new ways to get your message across. You might even consider having a post mortem - what worked?

'Actors Felicity Huffman and William H Macy have a famous "no work talk in bed" rule - if one starts talking about work, they both get out of bed and move to another room. This way, their bed remains more romantically linked in their minds. Think what kind of rules you and your partner could apply to your own relationship.'

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Mar 17th 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Showing off what they've got - at any age

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Does there come a time when a woman should grow old gracefully, dress demurely and generally 'act her age'? These famous women say 'if you've got it, flaunt it' whether you're 25 or 75...

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Mar 17th 2010 By Georgia Barlow

Couple deemed "too fat" to sit together on plane win slimming prize

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Being told they were too fat to sit together on the flight back home from their holiday was just the wake-up call Alan and Jane Coupe needed to face facts about their weight issues.

Humiliated on their return from a trip to Guernsey, when the air stewardess asked them to sit in separate parts of the plane to spread their weight, Mrs Coupe decided to take action. She signed the pair up to a Slimming World group where they went on to lose an impressive 15st between them. Mr Coupe, 55, lost 8st 0.5lb, dropping from 20st 10lb to 12st 91b and his wife, 51 shed 7st 10lb, plummeting from 18st 3ib to 10st 7lb.

The couple, who used to struggle to walk anywhere now go cycling twice a week for 15 miles at a time and love to go walking and swimming. 'Losing weight has saved our lives and given us our lives back at the same time,' Mrs Coupe told The Daily Mail.

'We're so much more sociable and active, it's like we have a new lease of life. The health benefits have been colossal. You don't realise what you are missing out on until someone gives you back your life.'

The couple have gone on to win the Slimming World Couple of The Year award including a £3,000 cash prize, a night in a suite at The Ritz Hotel in London and a makeover. We wonder if thy shared any of their prize monywith the air stewardess.

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Mar 17th 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Corrie's dysfunctional Platt family have it out on Jeremy Kyle

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Just when you thought day time telly couldn't get any worse...

To celebrate the 1000th episode of the so-bad-it's-brilliant show where families air their dirty laundry in front of a studio audience, the Platt family from Coronation Street will battle it out in character on the Jeremy Kyle show.

It has to be asked though, given the fact that many of the population struggle with understanding the difference between 'real life' and 'soap operas' will the audience actually 'get it'?

Staying in character and in true keeping with the show, the Corrie stars will act out a typical Kyle-esque scenario with the usual shouting, accusations of infidelities and lie detectors tests which should keep the audience satisfied with the daily damage that the 'real' guests bring us in the mornings.

Craig Gazey, Corrie's Graeme Proctor, is going to provide contributions from the audience and says: "We are going to do it exactly how people do it... my character is quite funny and may come out with silly things but we're not doing it for a laugh."

This does beg the question about why they're doing it at all and makes you think how seriously the show takes its responsibilities towards its genuine guests - who let's face it have 'real' issues.

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Mar 17th 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Bus company rejects call to ban sexist ad

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A bus company is refusing to ditch an advertising campaign featuring 'sexy matrons' for its hospital bus routes - despite calls to pull the ads which are considered demeaning to the nursing profession.

Nurses at the Worcestershire Royal Hospital, where the number 37 runs to, are up in arms about the image which depicts a 'carry on' style matron dressed in a figure hugging outfit.

Shaunee Irvine, a nurse at the hospital said: "Using this kind of imagery to portray nurses is clichéd and, frankly, an insult to the intelligence of most people, and it's clear that it demeans nurses and devalues the nursing profession"

However, it seems that these strong views are not held by all as it's claimed that a group of nurses actually vetted the advert before it was approved.

With the environmental message of ditching your car for public transport coupled with the issue of parking spaces in short supply at the hospital, the lure of the naughty nurse was deemed to be funny and a light-hearted way of putting across a public message.

What do you think? Is it a bit of harmless fun or should the bus company pull the ads?

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Mar 17th 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

The key to dating success: Don't tell porkies

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Hands up - who hasn't agreed with their date on some issue or other just to get that snog at the end of the evening?

Whether nibbling a side salad when you could have woolfed down the whole menu or hinting that your political beliefs are green whereas in fact you're blue to your blood, we've all been guilty of modifying our behaviour on dates.

It seems being honest about who you are will increase your chances of bagging a second date and having better romantic relationships, according to a study by the department of psychology at Ohio State University.

Students were asked various questions ranging from personal and relationship satisfaction to secret keeping and discussing emotions with partners over a two-week study.

Unsurprisingly the results showed that if you don't lie and are comfortable with who you are, your partner is likely to mirror this behaviour resulting in a happy and successful relationship - or night depending on how far you want to go.

However, more interestingly it was found that there was a gender difference in our general authenticity and how we affect our partners. Women who were true to themselves had little or no affect on how some men behaved towards them.

Amy Brunell explains: "Typically in dating and marital relationships, the women tend to 'be in charge' of intimacy in the relationship," but it seems that our male counterparts are not affected by this and don't really care if we are lying or not just as long as they get what they want.

So should you, in the game of dating and using the words of William Shakespeare "to thine own self be true"? Well yes as it's hard to keep up with too many white lies - though you should remember most men don't really care either way.

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Mar 17th 2010 By Caroline Cassidy

Combat dogs parachute in for secret mission

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Our four-legged friends have been helping us humans for years, whether sniffing out bombs for the police or helping the blind lead full lives.

Now a new breed of military dog is going one step further - parachuting out of planes and falling 10,000ft to support troops in Afghanistan.

The dogs are fitted with a head camera, allowing special forces to see inside insurgent compounds, and are trained to attack anyone carrying a weapon.

"Dogs don't perceive height difference, so that doesn't worry them," said the dog handler.

"They're more likely to be bothered by the roar of the engines, but once we're on the way down, that doesn't matter and they just enjoy the view. It's something he does a lot. He has a much cooler head than most recruits."

Commandos from 14 countries, including British special forces and Royal Marines, recently took part in the Nato exercise called "Cold response."

America's Delta Force were the first to use parachuting dogs trained to breathe through oxygen masks during the jump (left).

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